Worn in jeans and settling from the storm

We were seniors in high school. Ashley had always been smaller than me, and this is the one time it paid off. She bought Abercrombie jeans one size too big and didn't feel like taking them back, so I bought them off of her, for half the price she paid. Cause im a good friend like that. score.

I still have those jeans, and though they get buried behind the more recent purchases of skinny jeans... when i clean out my closet i come across them. and as much as i want to get rid of them, the faded pockets, worn through crotch and rip by the knee bring me back to a time in life that i love. They are my ya ya pants if you will. yes. that just happened.

 I try them on when I find them. At times, they have fit, snug and breathable in all the right places. Worn in and comfortable. At other times, they feel awkward, too tight, or just not me, like that person that bought them was so different from who i am now.

I think life is like that. Sometimes we feel at odds with ourselves, awkward and out of place. Disconnected from who we were and how it relates to now. And then there are seasons we feel at ease in ourselves, we come back to the things that remind of us of who we really are and what we love.

This last 2 years of life has been a bit of a shock; from grad school, living in Africa, then moving back to Phoenix and living with my parents, getting engaged then marrying Ricky on the beach... It was all a whirlwind and i think pieces of myself got caught up in the fury. But as i unwind for the storm , i settle into the ease and flow of who I am. And the bits of things that make me who i am, begin to make their calm descent back into my life.

my creative side. the driven me. the girl who gets things done, fast and is involved in 20 different things at the same time. she's back. I remember this girl, i like her.

The worn out hems and faded patches are welcomed.

The jeans fit tonight. and. its. good.

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